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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Movie Review # 59 Zombie Women of Satan (2009)

Release: 2009
Warren Speed
Steve O'Brien
Warren Speed
Steve O'Brien
Seymour Leon Mace
Warren Speed
Victoria Hopkins
Victoria Broom

Rotten Tomatoes: 24% Audience
IMDb: 3.3/10
Netflix: 2 Stars

Satan oh do I love you! Yes this movie is so delightfully awful that it deserves praise aplenty! Zombie Women of Satan has to be single handily the dumbest, craziest and most outlandish Zombie film ever made. Seriously I am not joking. Yes it sucks but it sucks in that you have to see me and love me kind of way. I am just going to be honest I loved it and hated it all at once.

So what does this delectiable turd offer us for our viewing pleasure? Well its part all zombie movie, part House of 1000 Corpses and part Cult following. All of which have no real reason to be together but work out wonderfully in this campy thriller. Our main cast is Pervo the Clown, Skye Brannigan, Rachel Brannigan and Harmony Starr. As they are the only one's who live in the end. But for every protagonist there is a antagonist. These people are all nuts.

One runs a cult/brothel of women who are drugged and his name is Tycho Zander, then are his sisters Red and Blue. As well as his crazy scientist father and sociopath mother who is bound in chains through out the movie. So what makes these people all special? Father created the Zombie serum which got into the normal girls drugged drink for the day. Red is a first class slut that is all into women.

Tycho is a perv among pervs who has sex with a zombie and films it for his mother. Blue she doesn't say anything at all. So we really don't know her all that well. So that is your basic cast of characters. But how did they all come together? Well Pervo and all his friends show  up for a internet interview with Tycho. When all hell breaks loose at the whore house.

As they all become zombies. Which would have been fine if Red did not bring down Skye sister Rachel. It was that one short scene that split the camps. As they fought each other and the zombies all the while Rachel was being wanted by both sides. So thats the majority premise of the film for the most part. The other is freaky BDSM porn, pain porn and lots of naked and topless women running around.

Who happen to be zombies and for some reason it turns on Pervo and he keeps stepping out to go rub one out. It is sickening and kind fitting to the character as a whole. But nothing beats one 10 minute scene in the movie. Yes I timed it. It involves a side character named Zeus who happens to be a dwarf and him having to take a shit. Granted there where cut scenes intertwined but the scene seriously took 10 minutes.

Once it was done and over they zoom in on a pile of crap the size of a watermelon that is not only steaming it is moist and absolutely disgusting. Right afterwards a zombie chick runs past stops and looks around. Then grants and waves her hand in front of her face then holds her nose. Talk about a pointless and brilliant shit joke. A zombie who hates poop. Hell you could almost expect her fainting from the smell from the build up to it.

But it didn't end there. It ended with Pervo saying that must have been some shit or something to that affect. When Zeus states "Yes relative the size of me it was." cue the drums and moving on. The movie depends on fart and gag jokes through out. With this one being the longest and silliest. But where this one succeeded most fail miserably in execution and ultimately in he laugh department.

Which is fine as this movie has more cheese in it than the state of Wisconsin does and that does say something. So with all this cheese what is the biggest highlight? Oh it is the music which is brilliant, catchy and will stay with you once the credits role. With simple melodies that bring back classic horror soundtracks of the past. These songs fall in line with them. Which says a lot for how they affected me.

So whats the conclusion of this? Music is amazing, the movie as a whole is a cheesy mess and the jokes are simple and stupid. Which makes for a wonderful film to watch with friends and drink beer to. I honestly do not hate this movie and would watch again. So if anything this re-watchable even in that sadistic got to ruin a friends day kind of way.

My Rating: 3/5 Stars

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