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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Movie Review # 48 The Superhero

Director: Adam Simcox
Writer: Adam Simcox
Damien Hannaway
David Platt
Ana Rose De Eizaguirre Butler

Rotten Tomatoes: 28% Audience
IMDb: 3.0/10
Netflix: 1.6 Stars

Yuck! Fucking yuck! I think that I am in the lowest parts of Hell right now. Day in and day out I watch movies like this one. Films that are so bad that they deserve to not be mentioned in the same line of speech of good movies like Avatar or Lord of the Rings. But alas they are films and part of the greater brotherhood of films. So I am left reviewing and watching shitastic films like this one The Superhero.

I do not loathe this film like I loathed movies like Kung Fu Mummy or even the latest worst of the crop Urban Menace. Because as bad as this movie is and it is fucking terrible. It has some great comic stills in it. Which is where most of the action takes place. So consider it a R rated Reading Rainbow skit with cussing and animated blood tossed in and you get the picture of what this is like.

But outside of this one bright spot this movie is just unwatchable. The acting is stiff and the story is ripped straight from two movies one being John Travolta's Phenomenon but instead of cancer giving him super powers. It is a brain hemorage and the movie Unbreakable with Bruce Willis where he can not feel pain. Yep two completely different movies joined together. As for the villain he is just the Needler a man who goes out and injects people with dirty heroin needles.

In hopes of giving them HIV all because he contracted it somehow. Which they never explain. So now you have the villains terrible name and are you guys ready for the heroes name? The Boxer! Yep the fucking Boxer couldn't the writer come up with better villain and hero names? Seriously how do you go in to a studio executive's office and sell this fucking crap?

You don't so you find a low budget company willing to front you money to make a travesty of a film. One that no human should have to be tortured with. But to them it is probably the greatest thing on Earth. Hell I knew a  guy who wanted to make it into Hollywood. He wrote a script about Vampires and Zombies who fought a epic battle for control over the human race.

That is just as stupid as this fucking film. Seriously folks if you want to do a God damn movie. Do it right if you do not have a budget for a fighting scene do not write one in. If you do not have a budget for special effects do not write one in. I say this because this fucking film used comic book stills in both of these places. Which is in excusable and sadly was done in a A-List movie that being Tank Girl with Lori Petty.

But even then that movie had heart and soul and was enjoyable. This just isn't. I know I am ripping on it I just can not help it. It might be bad movie overload or maybe I am just growing tired of watching movies. Either which way. I am glad that I got a break this weekend from watching these shit storm films. So stay tuned for a update on what I did this weekend on Monday or Sunday. But for now I am outta here and I am in need of a drink.

My Rating: .25/5 Stars

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