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Friday, April 22, 2011

Movie Review # 53 Titanic II (Titanic 2) (2010)

Release: 2010
Director: Shane Van Dyke
Writer: Shane Van Dyke
Shane Van Dyke
Brooke Burns
Bruce Davison

Rotten Tomatoes: 16% Audience
IMDb: 1.9/10
Netflix: 2.5 Stars

Another day and another Asylum picture. I am starting to wonder if any reviewer out there has seen every one of these travesties? I am just going to say and who knows I might be the first to watch each of these films and put type to page and it will not be something I am proud of. As The Asylum makes films for no one but themselves and helpless sap's who are non-informed people.

Well that and for the Sy-Fy Channel which is where all of their movies show up. This one included and it makes me question more and more the Sy-Fy Channel if they are serious about movies or do they just put these up to fill dead spots in a otherwise strongly weekly line up of programming? I would say it is the later and not the former. Which is sad because there are some great B-Film Sci-Fi movies out there that could go in these places like Hunter Prey or Monsters.

But alas Sy-fy chose this bed to sleep in and we are stuck watching terrible movies that deserve to be on the mantle of shame. None more so than Titanic II which is by far one of the dumbest movies ever written. The unfortunate part of this travesty is the lineage Shane Van Dyke comes from. His grandfather is Dick Van Dyke and his Great Uncle is Jerry Van Dyke. Two of the greatest comedians of the 1950's through the early 1990's. But unlike them he chose the path of his father Barry which is B-Film mediocrity at best.

Mediocrity is a stretch for Shane as he has paired with The Asylum on more than on occasion. Those movies being Paranormal Entity and Transmorphers: Fall of Man just to name a few. Both of which will be reviewed in the near future and both I am dreading as a reviewer. As both are mockbuster's of Transformers and Paranormal Activity respectively. It is as if Shane has decided to be a hack instead of branch out and make a name for himself in a good way.

He chooses to put in the least effort and stamp his name all over it. From acting, writing to even directing he has chosen to be the laughing stock of Hollywood and totally crap on his family name. It is sickening to see such a hallowed name run through the mud. But alas it has and this movie is a prime example of it. From the time it starts to the time it ends it is a joke. Taking cues from the movie Day After Tomorrow where a father comes to the rescue of his kid.

To the fact that they have no real sense of ocean science as the tsunami they put in is 100 ft tall in the middle of the Atlantic ocean it makes you want to throw your remote through your tv. It is insulting, it is degrading and it is just not worth viewing. I know these are made to be made fun of but when the movie is so terrible and has no fun bits to really chew on for bad movie buffs. All it leaves is a bad taste in your mouth and a headache to follow.

I for one love B-films and bad films in general. The Asylum pushes my buttons as they are just knocks on established franchises that need to stop. Which they never will and since I am the glutton for visual punishment I will watch each successive film they release. As I must become the reviewer to have seen all The Asylum productions and ultimately be crowned the historian of the Asylum. If and when that day comes I fear that I will be brain dead. But hopefully you the reader enjoyed it as these movies put me to a early grave.

My Rating: 1.25/5 Stars

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