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Thursday, June 2, 2011

Movie Review # 94 Seal Team VI [Seal Team 6] (2008)

Release: 2008
Director: Mark Andrews
Writer: Mark Andrews
Cast: Ken Gamble, Jeremy Davis, Zach McGowan, Kristoffer Garrison, Neto Depaula Pimenta

Rotten Tomatoes: 31% Audience
IMDb: 2.5/10
Netflix: 2.7 Stars

Movies about war and history are some of my favorite movies to watch. As they can be educational and entertaining. Sadly for every Platoon, Three Kings or Saving Private Ryan there are movies like this one Seal Team VI that destroy you souls of all the soldiers that have died on the lines of duty. This movie is beyond deplorable as it literally craps on the faces of not only Seal Team VI it ruins an afternoon of every viewer that has to watch it.

I say that as viewers across many sites have stated the same things. From inaccuracies of the uniforms, aircraft to basic knowledge of military exercises are miss in this movie. It doesn't take a bright person to do research and learn about these things. But this movie never steps to the plate and instead rest's on the fact that it's title is Seal Team VI and how that will sell the movie. Well it does and it sickens me to admit it. Especially now that Seal Team VI is the reason Osama Bin Laden is resting with the fishes.

But that does not excuse the fact that this movie is more a military surplus advertisement for bad acting and crappy film work. Let's be totally  real here. I love Americana and I love military and what that this atrocity does is spit in my face and every other Americans face. As it is a slap in the face to our Military and obviously doesn't have the support of our military either. Because the Military has people on hand to make sure that scenes are shot realistically and this one was far from it.

So let's focus on highlights of ineptitude. The guns are toy guns, they are supposed to be in Kuwait and yet it has California tags and plates, the radio equipment has Radio Shack tags on it, they are in a helicopter and yet jump out of a C130 plane. That scene alone is full of failures as they don gas masks, no parachutes and go from having rucksacks to none to having diving masks and no rucksacks to having them again.

That one scene alone ruins this movie. But they are prevalent through out. It is as if Mark Andrews had no clue what he was doing. Well he doesn't as his directing is horrible. How do accept a scene where your focus goes out giving the illusion of double vision and accepting it as a final cut? Which happens way to often! That or do how do you explain the desert scenes with trail markers in them? That or how do you explain modern vehicles in the background and its supposed to be 1991?

You can't and through all this was anything enjoyable? NO! Just flat out NO! It is boring, it is hard to watch and has no story at all. Is it about the Master Chief (should only be Chief) and his loss of his son? Is it the mission to destroy the VX Gas? Maybe it's the new guy that joins the Seal Team proving himself? Well how about all of it and none of it together. As it doesn't give closure to any of it in any good way.

Hell the movie makes you believe it is one way and it's a complete 180 the other way. Which not only gives me a headache it gives many others one as well. But a time comes when you have to say enough is enough and find a light at the end of the tunnel. Which is best in doing this turning this movie off or never renting or watching it. Unlike some B-Movies out there that are so bad they are awesome.

This movie just takes itself to seriously. Never giving in to it's badness and making this movie enjoyable. Instead it stays the straight and narrow and is more akin to a dental visit with out antiseptic than a movie. Even then that might be to kind of words. So in summation if you are a die hard military film buff, a fan of history or B-Films it is best you avoid this abomination of a film.   

My Rating: Negative -4 out of 5 Stars

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