Saturday, June 11, 2011
Movie Review # 103 JC tha Hood (2008)
Director: Dale Stelly
Writer(s): Dale Stelly, Carl Washington
Cast: Dale Stelly, Sid Burston, Saafir
Rotten Tomatoes: 50% Audience
Netflix: 2.2 Stars
There are movies then there are things that are just abominations that do not classify as movies. This is the latter of the two. As it is one third of a movie shot with a single handy cam and then sold as a real movie. This type of film making makes people scream and bitch then turn to their friends and say "Hey I have this great movie let's watch it!"
As their friends sit down to watch this the devil inside comes out and they laugh inside as the torture is about to begin. Then as the movie progresses and their friend reaches for the nearest sharp object to stick in their temple. The laughter erupts and they tell them to do it as their master plan of ruining their friends life is there. Which is all this movie is worth and even then it is not worth that as Skeleton Key 2 has this one beat on the total shit meter.
Which does not say much as shit movies are shit movies and they just suck to watch. This one is a special kind of shit movie. As it uses Jesus, The Devil, The Angel Israel and four pathetic souls as pawns. Yea so here is the story The Devil makes a bet with Jesus that all the souls that he touches during the day will ultimately end up in Hell. Which Jesus does not take up the bet which did not stop the Devil as he goes out and makes the people do evil deeds.
As each of them dies the Angel Israel shows up and talks to the corpse then takes them into Limbo. Then while in Limbo he tells them to repent. As each one repents they are sent back to moments to a few hours before they did their ultimate evil deed. To relive the moment and follow in the ways of Jesus. Which honestly as stupid as Hell. Yea they are dead and they come back with no memory but they show all that they did the first time as their memories.
Which makes no sense. But the worst is that you see everything in the first half then you see it all over again in the second half as it repeats itself. As if the first play through was not painful enough with the shit script and fucked int he head acting. We get a double dose of crap. Then we get a triple dose as they all talk about their exploits at the end. As they re-show the same again for a third time.
At this point you are wanting death as you can no longer tolerate the horribleness of the movie. Nor can you handle the fact that you have to watch the same scenes over and over and once again. Even looking at this movie as individual stories it would would be a good Youtube movie group. But as a independent feature that you want people to pay for or for people to watch on Netflix.
It is a utter slap in the face. Which I know they did not intend it to be as their closing statement in the scrolling text is a prayer to all that have lost loved ones to dire and unfortunate means. Even with that I can not say anything nice about this movie. As it is a insult to Christianity, movie making and anyone of faith in general. Which leaves it as a movie to avoid and not talk about.
My Rating: Negative -5 out of 5 Stars