Friday, July 29, 2011
Movie Review # 144 Kung Fu Killer (2008)
Director: Phillip Spink
Writer(s): Jacqueline Feather, David Seidler, John Mandel
Cast: David Carradine, Daryl Hannah, James Taenaka
Rotten Tomatoes: 28% Audience Fresh
Netflix: 3.1 Stars
Kung Fu Bore, Kung Fu Crap, Kung Fu Geriatric? Any of those are better names than Kung Fu Killer. As this movie is not only insulting, overly complicated and boring. It just plain sucks. There is no beating around the bush on this subject. As David Carradine is literally bored in this movie. As he reprises a role he knows all to well. Which is a white monk raised by Monks. But this one has a slight twist that being his family was killed and he went on a killing spree soon afterwards as a child.
This black moment of his past which could have been explored more is barely touched. It is not there and yet they tease it and even give several key minutes to it. But do nothing but say "Ooh dark places we no go!". Seriously it is all can expect from a movie made for Spike TV. Now if there is a silver lining it is this. Spike spent a lot of money trying to make this movie believable. As they shot it entirely in China and even have Chinese Extras everywhere. But where they screwed up is everyone speaks English.
Which I could have been okay with if the villains spoke it. But all the villagers? Even the Monks? Come on now be serious! I know that is being nit picky. At the same time it is not as this lack of caring is through out the movie. From the rubber heads, to the scenes of guts plopping to ground just for shock value. It is as if they wanted to insult instead of entertain here. Not even the action of this movie is really good honestly.
As they are shot from odd angles and very seldom do much more than get a blah response from the audience. As they just are there because (A) The story calls for it. (B) Just because they can. (C) Just for a shock value. With most of them falling into the B and C category. Which is even more saddening as they are the best parts. Especially when Daryl Hannah gets on screen and sings. OH MY GOD! She is beyond terrible and deserves to be shot for this role alone.
I love her in most of her other movies. But this one seriously I much rather deal with a ten second long nails across a chalk board. Than to ever hear her sing ever again. But that is just me. As a whole this movie just does not stand up to Chinese Epics that cover these same stories. From Hero to Fearless. Where the man makes a stand against the ultimate evil and sells the struggles of it. This movie just fails and is overly Americanized and pathetically boring. So do yourself a favor and just skip this movie all together.
My Rating 1.25 out of 5 Stars