Release: 2007
Director: Patricia Harrington
Writer(s): Jack Monroe, Matt Holly
Cast: Doug Swander, Kathleen LaGue, Simon Page
Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 15% Audience Fresh
IMDb: 3.5/10
Netflix: 2.6 Stars
Review:
Oh the creature feature. The formally bread and butter of the Horror movie genre. That was before the gross out horror movies like Saw and Hostel took hold. Sadly though this creature feature took cues from both of those movies as its gore factor is exceedingly high and the production value is exceedingly low. Which makes it a palatable and laughable mess of a movie.
The plot is as cookie cutter as you can get. Giant monstrous creature that eats and kills with out thinking. A relationship that was on the rocks is now back together. The teen leads become an item and all the cliche characters die in a more outlandish fashion than the last. The only good thing you know what you are getting before you dive into this movie. As it is just generic and silly.
Seriously if you do not laugh in the first five minutes of this movie. You have no reason left to watch. As you are the type that this movie is not made for. Hell I laughed and I am admit I might just be the demographic. Just because I watch everything and despite all of that. I still did not enjoy this movie as I kept calling the shots through out the movie. From this is how and why this person will die. To the ultimate end of the movie where they explain that the creature is a diabetic and how they will try and kill it with sugar.
As they hinted at it earlier. Just so you know. It doesn't work it never works. Just like trying to electrocute any creature doesn't work. You just have to blow it up! Which they do here as well only to lead on to another cliched scene where there are multiple killer creatures left. That where the offspring of the original. Which honestly I hope never get's made. As this movie is just a crappy version of Lake Placid and Anaconda both of which have nearly the same plot and story.
But unlike those. This movie had one thing those did not. The token black man who dies for no reason. Hell from this movie you would think that only white people existed as they are the only ones in this movie. Yet it takes place in the swamps in Florida? The last time I checked they where very culturally diverse there? But this is Hollywood and it wasn't filmed in Florida but in California based souly on the License Plates of the cars scene in and around the movie. Well at least the ones which didn't have white gaffers tape.
Talking about tape. There was a ton of it. From cars to hats to even shirts. Anything that they could tape over they did and it was down right fun. Just watching for the tape to rear its shiny little head again and again. I honestly think that was my favorite part of this movie. Was spotting the tape. It is the really the only reason I finished it as the rest of the movie was boring in a been there done that way. With nothing refreshing, scary or enjoyable about it.
Which in all honesty is not sad really. As creature feature movies are a dime a dozen and hopes of finding one that is original or has anything original is hard to find these days. As Hollywood and the B-Film industry stick to what works and that is sticking to a established formula that works. Sadly that formula is stale and needs of replacing and I hope one day it does. But as this movie stands you can say you watched it with out ever seeing it as it presents nothing new at all. As it should only be viewed by people who love watching creature feature specials.
My Rating 0 out of 5 Stars
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