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Friday, May 20, 2011

Movie Review # 81 Dirt Merchant (1999)

Release: 1999
Director: B.J. Nelson 
Writer: B.J. Nelson
Cast: Danny Masterson, David Faustino, David DeLuise 

Rotten Tomatoes:  27% Audience
IMDb: 4.6/10 Stars
Netflix: 2.3 Stars

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Dirt Merchant is the best straight to internet movie I have ever seen. Yes you did read that right folks. This feature length film released on September 19, 1999 on the website and even though it is no longer up on their sight. It still has that distinction and honor as being one of the firsts. With Pi by Darren Aronofsky being the first in April of 1999.

But unlike Aronofsky B.J. Nelson is not a household name is most known for his other B-Films like Lone Wold McQuade and part of the Scanner series. Neither of which are generally known outside of die hard action fans or sci-fi fans. As they are usually over the top silly and have just enough action to make up for bad acting or in the case of Lone Wold McQuade Chuck Norris vs David Carradine.

That alone is a selling point for most people. The man that has grown to great Mythic standards in Chuck Norris and Mr. Kung Fu himself David Carradine. But I am not here to talk about those movies I am here to talk about Dirt Merchant and all it silly stone humor and porn humor.

I say that with a open heart and tongue in cheek. As this movie is Jenna Jameson's first real acting role outside of being plowed by a group of men. It is also not her best acting as she turned it into Porno star mode and never left it. But the running joke through out the movie is every time you see a porn it is one of Jenna's several porns be it on tv or magazine.

So it was obvious that the role of Holly So Tighty was written for her or some other actress wanting to move into big motion pictures. Which is respectable and in this movie it worked. Now for the rest of the cast the only outstanding performance goes to Danny Masterson who is best known as Steven Hyde or just Hyde from That 70's Show.

As he is out of luck brilliant man with a keen eye for detail. He is also the main character through out the film. Even though his story is shaky and his detective skills borderline on omniscient it is enjoyable enough to make most people smile and nod. Especially once you realize that Pineapple Express stole parts from this movie or at the least paid homage to this little indie film when Seth Rogen's character was issuing subpoenas.

As Dirt (Danny Masterson) came up with direct and indirect ways of issuing them.  I could have stood and enjoyed this a little more as this is where the movie was at it's strongest. Sadly  though it was short lived. As the movie moved to more a on the run convict who plays a private dick role. As hard for that was for me to type it is even harder to watch. As the movie jumps all over with truth serums to mass murderers.

It never finds the ground that the first half was strongly footed on. Which is extremely sad as this movie had a lot of great promise and going for it with its limited budget. But none of that matters if a movie stalls out in the way this one does. Which is more Scooby Doo meet's stoner hell. Even with that I still enjoyed it and maybe it is just that part of me that enjoys the goofy or just that over the top silly bad movie.

I do not know. Nor do I care as this is a movie I can watch again and again. I guess it is for reasons that I will never understand. But life is to short for me to really care.

My rating: 2.5/5 Stars

No trailer was found = ( sorry folks.

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