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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Movie Review # 65 Recon 2022: The Mezzo Incident (2007)

Release: 2007
Director: Christian Viel
Christian Viel
John Fallon
William Alexander
Andy Bradshaw
Heidi Hawkins
Deke Richards

Rotten Tomatoes: 5% Audience
IMDb: 3.0/10
Netflix: 1.8 Stars

There glorious pieces or crap and decent pieces of crap. But this one is a heinous turd amongst turds. I say that with a sharp tongue and soulless reprieve. As this movie is just that soulless. As if the entire group that made this movie decided that we all deserved a poop facial. While we watched a movie that has no plot and uses nudity to keep you watching.

I wish I was joking but I am not. There are I think five to seven topless scenes, a scene where a guy is getting a blow job from a machine. A scene with a man covered in Nickelodeon green slime as they zoom in on his small penis. Another scene with a cyborg Asian Chick that has a boob that knocks people out. Oh and the last one a woman strapped to a table covered in the the same green slime that we saw the penis in.

Yea great movie magic here. But let's not forget the blatant stealing of a beholder from Dungeon and Dragons. It is as if the people who did the special effects opened up their Monster Manual and said this works out great and oh what about this as well. Which is said of every creature in this movie! Seriously I thought it was a bad Dungeon and Dragons meet's screwed up Sci-Fi movie. Which it isn't.

It is just a horrible sci-fi movie that steals material because they can not come up with their own stuff. Grr. I know I am being harsh. I just can not help it when people can not even follow a paint by numbers sci-fi, sci-fi horror or sci-fi thriller coloring pad. They not only colored so badly outside the lines they made a mockery of the genre. Which in some cases is excusable if the money wasn't there or the script was lacking.

But this one had money thrown into it. The effects where better than what you see on most Sy-Fy movies. The movie was shot in HD and it still is horrible. Especially when I hold this one up against a recent movie I saw just a few weeks ago Hunter Prey. Another independent sci-fi movie. Which used character building and character progression to make a movie. NOT SEX SCENES!!!

I know that's the second time I went back to that or is it the third? Hell I do not know anymore. This is just tasteless. You can tell it is by the way the actor's treat the script. With rolling eyes, sighs and even monotone reading of a teleprompter. I know I can not blame the actors for flubbing these lines or just doing them half ass. That falls on the directors shoulders. If he doesn't care then why should they and believe me when I say they do not.

But the most damning is that this movie is the second of three. Yes you read that right. There is Recon 2020: The Caprini Massacre otherwise known as Power Corps. which is just the prequel to Recon 2022. Like it needed one but they made it and they made a direct sequel Recon 2023: The Gauda Prime Conspiracy yep sounds like I have my work cut out for me. Two more razor filled turds to watch and review.

Not to say I want to but in this movie blog marathon it is just inevitable. I know I won't like they and will go in with prejudice. So I will just wait a month between viewing each one. As I dive into the third one next and finish with the prequel. I am starting to think that all these bad movies are going to be the death of me. But at least you guys and gals find it entertaining.

Despite all my complaining I do enjoy this. I just warn against seeing this movie. I really do and if you need a sci-fi movie fix. Go watch Hunter Prey or Enemy of Mine, Star Wars or even Star Trek. Just avoid this if at all possible. Sadly though as you read I won't be avoiding the other two for to long. As they will eventually find their way into my viewing cue and ultimately in a review.

My Rating: 0/5 Stars

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