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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Movie Review # 72 Return of the Outlaws (2008)

Release: 2008
Director: Chuck Walker
Writer: Chuck Walker
Lorenzo Lamas
John Castellanos
J. Eddie Peck

Rotten Tomatoes: 0% Audience
IMDb: 3.2/10 Stars
Netflix: 2.4 Stars

Return of the Outlaws is a movie of two names that other being Mexican Gold. Either which way you put it. This movie is just bad. Not enjoyable bad just bad bad. Like you wish you where getting a root canal at the dentist bad. I know this sounds harsh and it is. This movie deserves this and so much more though.

From the script, to acting to the fact that they had no lighting and the worst the audio. Where they had entire segments that where shot at distance or in enclosed spaces. Where the echoes, the film camera or the worst they sounded as if they where in a well. Which amplified the horrid fact that none of the actors in this movie had any right being on screen.

It is as if they just went to Conroe, Texas and Bracketville, Texas. Which is where this film is shot and asked the town folks if they would love to be in a movie. Then selected them based on looks and not talent for the roles they where to be in the movie. As with each passing scene you can tell no one on here can act their way out of a paper bag that has both ends open. Yes it was just that bad. But every bad aspect the funniest thing has to be the editing and the effects.

That is if you can call either of them editing or effects. The guns sound more like bottles of soda having their caps blown off. With cap gun smoke tossed in. Then you team it with the editing where you can see gutters on the buildings, a modern wrist watch and occasionally other modern items scattered through out. Which makes for a fun viewing pleasure for bad movie fans as they can point out each one of these faults to their friends for laughs.

That is only if they can handle watching this for a second or third time. Which I know I can not. At nearly two hours long this is a movie of attrition and finesse than a movie of enjoyment. Which say's a lot about my movie fortitude as I have never walked out of a movie on my first viewing ever. This one included. Not that it did not push my buttons. Because it did and it will do it to you as well.

Which is sad as modern westerns no longer exist anymore. With the last great one being True Grit with Jeff Bridges. Outside of that I would have to say maybe 3:10 to Yuma. That is two in what five years? Then neither is considered a major blockbuster either. As both failed to reach the 200 million mark at the box office and neither of them can be made into a string of movies.

Which is what makes Hollywood money today. It is also the reason that Westerns have died out in Hollywood. As they are mostly one off productions with no sequels possible. I do hope this changes so I can enjoy a good Western on the big screen instead of watching movies like Mexican Gold or it's more common name Return of the Outlaws.

As these might have Western stamped on them. But they are not. Before I go I will give a brief synopsis of the movie. A bandit get's out of jail after five years. Finds one of his running buddies who thinks knows where the gold is. When is friend fails to give him the info he kills him and his wife. Get's hanged escapes death with the help of a crooked judge. Say's he finds God and is saved.

Meet's with another old running buddy finds out that he knows where the gold is. Set's up another group goes for the gold. Finds out that their is no Gold and everyone dies at the end. There at the end of my review you have the entire movie. Now you don't have to watch it. Now go find something enjoyable to watch. Like Thor in theaters or maybe Toy Story 3 on Netflix. Just avoid this one if you can. But if you are a glutton for punishment and feel the need to give yourself a frontal lobotomy have fun and enjoy this movie.

My Rating: 0/5 Stars

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