Sunday, May 8, 2011
Movie Review #69 Zombie Nation (2005)
Director: Ulli Lommel http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0518579/
Writer: Ulli Lommel http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0518579/
Gunther Ziegler http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0956101/
Brandon Dean http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1061672/
Axel Montgomery http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2010398/
Rotten Tomatoes: 9% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/zombie-nation/
IMDb: 1.6/10 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0463392/
Netflix: 1.7 Stars
I want to start out with this. I never read reviews or watch trailers for these movies I watch. Because I want to see them for what they are and not be swayed by any other medium. Sadly, this movie made me wish I watched a trailer. It made me wish I read a review as it is one of the worst films of all time. Literally it is #11 on the bottom 250 on IMDb.
It is also a prime example of a movie that should bring Mystery Science Theater 3000 back to TV. As this movie is beyond awful. From the time it starts to the time it ends you wish that your life would end. As it tears at your ears and mind with a plot so terrible that you wish you where a zombie. But that is the most damning thing about this movie. The zombies are just woman with bad make up and talk to everyone and eat people's dicks or tongues. Yep I wish I was kidding.
So whats the script? A rogue cop who goes around with his partner in a red Mercury Grand Marquis with a red flashing light plugged in top. But that is supposed to be a cop car. But it isn't and the supposed laptop in the car is just a prop with no function at all. Completely sad. So let's get back to this bad cop. He has a thing against women that goes back to his mother abusing him.
So when he grows up he resents and hates woman. When he finally breaks he starts taking them to his residence which is store/warehouse? Where he leaves his partner outside to protect the car as he takes them upstairs, molests them then injects them. Before he weighs them and checks their height. Then molests their corpses again right before stuffing them in duffel bags and puts them in the fake police cars trunk.
Where he partner is none the wiser and accepts that he let the woman go. As they head off back to the precinct that is also in a warehouse and all along one wall. Sorry for this. But FUCKING HELL!!! They did nothing right in this movie. I know I said Urban Menace was the worst movie I have ever seen. Which it was it is just that this movie somehow topped that one. Despite the fact that Urban Menace looked as bad is it.
It at least had a entertaining story. This piece of shit! FUCKING HELL NO!! Seriously it is has more holes than swiss cheese. As you have black magic that brought back the dead woman, a precinct that is filled with idiots, actors who are seen reading the script of cue cards. No matter how I put this there is no redeeming qualities about this none what so ever.
Especially when I think I have seen the worst films out there. Some one film just happens to come up that tops the prior one. Which is unfortunate for me as the writer/director of this movie Ulli Lommel has films that are worse than this one out there. Honestly he has about ten films worse than this one. Which puts him as the worst director in my opinion and that includes Albert Pyun and Uwe Boll. It does make me think this though.
These directors know that they will never be big budget directors so the only way for them to be noticed. Is to make the worst film possible and through word of mouth. Their films get seen, bought or shown in movie theaters that do bad movie nights. I just do not want to believe that. But when the evidence shows it. You just have to accept that some people just like to be the worst at what they do and love doing it.
Which makes me happy as it keeps me writing. Which I am thankful for. At the same time though for every crap film like this. There are movies like Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. Which I am most thankful for. But do me a favor if you want a bad movie night. Pick this one up as you won't find anything much worse than this and it is prime for being ripped apart. So enjoy it on that level but not for anything else.
My Rating -6.5/5
Follow me @aikira21 on Twitter