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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Movie Review # 15 The Chosen One (2010)

Director: Rob Schneider
Writer(s): Rob Schneider and Boon Collins
Rob Schneider (Duece Bigelow, The Benchwarmers)
Steve Buschemi (Fargo, Monster's Inc, The Big Lebowski)

Rotten Tomatoes: 16% Fresh
IMDB: 4.3/10
Netflix:  2.7/5 Stars

Occasionally there are movies that actors just have to make for themselves. Not for any other reason to but to prove that they can branch out and do more than just be a funny man on screen. Sadly Rob Schneider is not one of these types of people. It scares me to think of his upcoming untitled film that is due out for release later in 2011. As for the movie The Chosen One was surely misnamed and miss leading.

From the start of the film to the end it has the pacing of a doctors visit. It gave you the info as you needed but left you with no substance at all. It was honest to God torture. What made it that way? Honestly it was mostly the story revovling around a drunk car salesman who is the chosen one. That has to save a stupid hawk so that it will snow on a distant mountain in Colombia. So that a previously unheard of tribe I guess can have water. Yea seriously only drunks and screw ups think up stories like this.

Which is pathetic and disheartening as this film failed on every level. The only saving grace was seeing Steve Bushemi pull off a standard performance and steal what ever scene he is in. Outside of him nothing else matters. The sporadic cameos by less known B-Actors that people go "Oh I know him from blah blah." is slightly refreshing. Just not enough for me to honestly care anymore about this film.

So here is the verdict and one that I hate to write. Avoid this movie even if you are a fan of both Rob and Steve. It is not worth the 100 minutes of you life wasted. Not a peak not a taste just avoid it. This movie ranks with the mega stinker Kung Fu Mummy. Which much like this one was written, directed and stared in by the all of the above.

I do not know if it is just me but I think I should avoid movies like this unless they star Clint Eastwood because he can at least write, direct and act. Sadly Rob go back to following the coat tails of the rest of the Happy Madison bunch. You suck on you own.

My Rating: .5/5 Stars

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