Movie Review # 42 Comic Book Villains (2002)

Release: 2002
Director:
Writer:
Cast:
Donal Logue http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0006610/
Michael Rappart http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001650/
DJ Qualls http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0702809/
Natasha Lyonne http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005169/
Cary Elwes http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000144/
Eileen Brennan http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0107281/
Danny Masterson http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005194/


Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 30% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/comic_book_villains/
IMDb: 5.5/10 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0287969/
Netflix: 2.9 Stars


Review:
Comic Book Villains is a film of two halves. One part is amazing, engaging and enjoyable. The other a travesty of bad writing and cheap thrills. Which is terribly sad as this movie had all the right makings of being in my good graces. Which sadly I can only say half of the film is worth viewing and that is just the first fifty to 60 minutes of the movie.

So here is the story a middle age man dies of a heart attack leaving behind a mountain of books. Making for a scramble as one person heard of the collection and set up the two rival comic shops on who will win out and get the comic collection. This part was fine and dandy as they played off each other and set up for comical and enjoyable moments. But all of that changed when the story took a turn for the worse when another character who had not been part of the original cast. But just a side part became the main villain.

As he sets out to steal the comics and honestly it just did not work. I say that because the movie had a set up where Archie (DJ Qualls) was going to be given the comics. Instead we are left with a mess of murder, bad action and horribly written dialogue as everyone dies. Yea folks everyone dies except for one character who happens to be the narrator. All the while you are asking yourself why did they screw up something so fun?

I have no answer honestly. It is just sad as this movie had the Fanboys vibe all the way till the entire crime murder death spree. If they had just stuck to that this movie would be a instant classic amongst comic fans and collectors the world over. Instead what we have is a great cast in a half bad half good film. When I say good cast I mean a good cast with DJ Qualls (Road Trip, The New Guy),  Donal Logue (Grounded for Life),  Cary Elwes (Princess Bride, Saw), Natasha Lyonne (But I'm a Cheerleader), Eileen Brennan (The Sting, Clue) and Danny Masterson (That 70's Show).

With a cast like this of familiar faces it is easy to fall for this movie. Which I did at first but in hindsight I can only say watch the first half of the movie. Then turn it off because what it leaves you with a sour taste that you can not part with very easily. I just wish I could as I really wanted to love this movie and it took my heart out and stomped on it with a horrible ending.

My Rating 2.25/5 Stars

Movie Review # 41 The Cutter (2005)

Release: 2005
Director: William Tannen http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0849587/
Writer: Bruce Haskett http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1761013/
Cast:
Chuck Norris http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001569/
Joanna Pacula http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001586/
Daniel Bernhardt http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0076780/


Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 37% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cutter_the/
IMDb: 5.0/10 Stars
Netflix: 3.1 Stars


Review
If there is one man who transcends through all of pop culture it is Chuck Norris. Despite his popularity the man can not act or make movies and this movie is a prime example. The Cutter takes place in Spokane, Washington and deals with a Auschwitz survivor who happens to be a exemplary jewel cutter. Who has been kidnapped (if you can say that about an 80 year old man?) to cut stolen gems from a mummy's tomb.

Yea this sounds stupid and lets toss in that the people holding the cutter captive are Neo-Nazi's and you have a trifecta  of total crap upon crap. All of which is made even more unbearable with bad writing, acting and horrid transitions between shots. Often with nauseating effects like speed up time shifts of a flying scene that start and stop abruptly. Which serve no purpose other than show off the industrial district's of Spokane, Washington. I swear this movie was shot by a teenage male who thought that showcasing Chuck Norris would make him popular.

Honestly it didn't and all this did is show the ineptitude of the director. As there are glaring holes and here are a few examples. Headlights and grill in a fan get shot up and the next scene they are mint again. The main villain gets shot in the chest and then the bullet hole isn't there. Only show back up again as an ink stain. Yep way to go special effects team and director. You guys shot for the lowest bar on the film continuity scale and somehow whiffed on a bar the size of Texas.

But you did and I had to watch it. Which I wish I had not. But it is Chuck Norris and I am supposed to love it. So that is my only excuse for the high rating on IMDb.com as fans of the Chuck thought he was amazing and awesome! Guess what folks he is an aging actor who was nothing more than a B-Film action star. Who only became popular in pop culture through a commercial and a horrible TV series. Which this movie reminded me of.

Yea this was a 90 minute excuse to revive Walker Texas Ranger and it still sucked!  But no matter what I say the Die Hards for Chuck will still stay true to him and give this pile of crap a glowing review. Which I can not. I much rather smother my face in steaming pile of dog shit than sit through this again.

My Rating: 1/5 Stars

Movie Review # 40 DIE-ner (Get It?) (2010)

Release: 2010
Director: Patrick Horvath http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1767139/
Writer: Patrick Horvath http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1767139/
Cast:
Joshua Grote http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3072715/
Parker Quinn http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1983705/
Liesel Kopp http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1380586/


Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 17% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/die_ner/
IMDb: 5.2/10 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1260570/
Netflix: 2.1 Stars


Review:
DIE-ner (Get It?) is about as B-Film as you can get with out going over the edge to complete crap. I say that as a compliment to the movie. As it is short to the point and a connect the dot movie. It is also not a standard Zombie film in that the main antagonist seems bent on playing with zombies instead of killing them. Which is amusing for a while. It is just not the real meat and potatoes of the movie.

That would be his relationship with a couple who happen into the diner that he is in. So whats the story here? A serial killer comes into a diner kills the cook and waitress and then as he is wrapping up a couple shows up. Who are obviously fighting about marriage and are on rocky terms. So as the movie progresses the couple fall back in love. The psycho keeps being psycho and it is just the paint by numbers script for movies shot in a single location.

Never swaying, never really expanding it just follows along at a rapid pace. Which leads to predictability, annoyance and ultimately boredom as you feel insulted that the writer/director Patrick Horvath never really cared about his work. Outside of the actors doing a good job of acting. Even then thats a stretch as zombie close ups show them breathing or fidgeting before they are ultimately zombies. Which adds a bit of trash to the trash heap. It is these moments that just scream B-Film and ultimately what dooms this movie.

As it can not stand on its to legs. It tries to be a thriller, a comedy and a horror film. It is not a single one of them. As it is just a art piece that is heartless and with out any flavor or texture. Which is sad as there could have been a better movie here. Like a bad guy turning good or the couple turning bad and getting out. Instead we are left with such an unpleasing ending that it makes you ask "Why in the Hell did I watch this!?" As the credits start rolling at the end.

DIE-ner is a mess of a movie and one that is best forgotten or at the very least watched with fellow bad film fans and no one else. As the general populace will not enjoy it or find solace in the enjoyment of this movie. Just as my room mate put it "Michelle this movie SUCKED!" She could not have put it better for the general populace which this movie was not made for.

My Rating: 1.5/5 Stars

Movie Review # 39 Super Capers (2009)

Release: 2009
Director: Ray Griggs http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2050708/
Writer: Ray Griggs http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2050708/
Actors:
Ray Griggs http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2050708/
Justin Whalin http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0923529/
Danielle Harris http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0364583/
Tommy "Tiny" Lister http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001474/


Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 0% Critics 26% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/super_capers/
IMDb: 3.7/10 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1161064/
Netflix: 2.6 Stars


Review:
Oh the Super Hero movie. Oh how I love thee! Sadly this is one that should not be loved except by bad movie fans and direct rip off/spoof fanatics as it heavily leans on Batman, Star Wars, Back to the Future, Mystery Men and a little bit of bad courtroom movies. Yep this movie is a complete mess as a satire and as an action comedy. Despite all these flaws it can be enjoyed it can be watched.

It is just not one I can honestly say I can watch again. So here is the story of Ed Gruberman who has lost his family and is love with the Dark Winged Vesper (Batman clone) and how he decides one night to stop a lowly crook from assaulting a woman. Only to find out that she has super powers as she stops the crook and all he does is hit the poor guy with a 2x4 sending him through a window. That makes you think that he has super strength when he has nothing. Yep talk about mis-information as that poor sap is shot across the street though an alley into a crooked lawyers window.

So that leads to what the real story. Him learning to become a Super Hero with a group of misfits. That remind me of Mystery Men but with real powers. Yep lovely so that is the basis of the movie and it is as paper thing as rice paper and just as fragile. As you see everything coming and nothing is off limits. As weapons, set pieces and even lines are ripped from A-Class films like Star Wars, Batman, Back to the Future and Mystery Men. All the while you groan as these blatant rip offs keep getting puked out of the actors mouths.

Which to me was nauseating but there is a glimmer here. The acting at least was somewhat believable and that is the single highlight of the movie that and the music. The set designs, the costumes and everything else just screams B-FILM!!!! Which this movie definitively is and one that falls in the middle of B-Film fair. Not good not awful but worth one viewing just to say you watched it.

My Rating 1.75/5 Stars

Movie Review # 38 Rock Slyde (2009)

Release: 2009

Director: Chris Dowling http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0235822/

Writer: Chris Dowling http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0235822/

Cast:

Patrick Warburton http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0911320/

Andy Dick http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004873/

Renae Sofer http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0812133/

Ratings:

Rotten Tomatoes: 39% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rock_slyde/

IMDb: 6.1/10 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1258154/

Netflix: 2.8 Stars

Review:

Rock Slyde is a movie you will love or hate instantly. As it is a period piece set in modern times. That period being the 40's Detective films complete with all the cliches and silliness of the times. Which for this reviewer was alright as I enjoy the old Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes, or even the classic Charlie Chan movies. But this movie does stretch further than those. With it drawing a little from the movies Clue and Murder by Death. 

With some of the twists and turns that pop up through out. So here is the story. Rock Slyde (Patrick Warburton) is a out of luck Private Eye. Who is ashamed of his past and never talks about it. As his life has fallen apart but unlike most men. He chose to not resort to drinking. But having his vice be Hot Tamales candy. In one of the goofiest product placements I have ever seen in a movie. So now that we know about Rock the story evolves around the group of Bartology trying to make Rock sign over his lease.

Which he chooses not to. Which he chooses not to only to have a woman come into his life. Who claims to have people follow her. So Rock sets out to find who and what. From this point on everything is straight out of how to write a Private Dick movie. Except for the entire lets poke at Scientology aspect of the movie. Where you excerpt Bartology in it's place. But who cares it is a direct kick in the nuts to that faux religion and proves one thing. If someone dreams it and has the charisma to pull it off. Anyone will buy your bullshit and the people who follow Scientology need to have their head examined or to quit eating the cookies. 

But that is just my opinion and it stands for all religions. But back to the movie. There is nothing special here, nor is it overly memorable. What it is just a fun movie to watch with friends and enjoy. Especially if you are a Patrick Warburton fan or even a Andy Dick Fan. Just do not come into this thinking it is going to have loads of violence, fighting, or blood. Because it does not. 

What it does have is a refreshing and sadly overlooked quality of movies today. Which is a fun story and character set up and it is because of this. That most people will hate this movie. As it is a throw back to a lost genre of film making and one I wish would come back. I enjoy the big block busters as much as any one out. I just want more simple films like this to hit main stream. As they showcase acting and not graphics and who can spend the most. That is just my two cents.

My Rating: 3.5/5

Thoughts on what has happened so far.

A little over a month ago I started this personal challenge and with in this month and odd days. Something has changed. When I started watching all these B-Films I was harsh, abrasive and did not see the beauty that each has. Granted not all of them have that indistinguishable beauty take Kung Fu Mummy for example. But most are not as bad as people make them out to be. Hell, I am enjoying movies that are often given crap reviews.

All because I found something that I might have missed prior to this challenge. That is the heart of cinema. The further and further I go into this. The more I am feeling in touch with these movies. It is one thing to be a critic and it is another to be film connoisseur as I am quickly becoming. I do not see this as a challenge anymore. But a hobby that I can be paid for. What was once just why am I doing this. Has vastly become I will do this and possibly keep on doing it past the 365 and just turn this into a movie review day.

With hundreds upon hundreds if not thousands of movies released each year. This movie blog can live on for as long as I can write, watch and enjoy films. So who knows how long I will keep this up or what it will become. What I can say though is I am having fun and enjoying writing and reviewing movies. So hears to hoping that this personal challenge to myself pays off.

Michelle a.k.a The B-Flick Chick

Movie Review # 37 The Dogfather (2010)

Release: 2010
Director: Richard Boddington http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1856678/
Writer(s):
Michael Hamilton-Wright http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0358228/
Russell Scalise http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2925617/
Cast:
Chris Parnell http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0663177/
William Cuddy http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2336753/
Brandy Ward http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0911419/


Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 33% Audience http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_dogfather/
IMDb: 2.9/10 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1475549/
Netflix: 2.9 Stars


Review:
Children film are often not enjoyable for the masses of parents. Thankfully that can not be said of the Dogfather. It is still sugary sweet, outlandish and often times silly in a Rocky and Bullwinkle or Wily Coyote and Road Runner way. But not to the point of groin inducing why am I watching this kind of way. It does get close but these scenes are short sweet and there for the children.

Which is what this film is written for. As an Aunt and someone who never let go of their inner child this movie can have a place many parents dvd shelves as its fun and silly. The story is something straight out of a child's mind. A family of Don's has just added in a new Don and in the process of taking his acceptance speech his dog Sunny eats his prized ring. Which causes him to go a little crazy and call for his two incompetent goons to retrieve the ring.

This is where the story really kicks off as Sunny escapes and becomes a member of a new family. All the while the goons are still searching for the dog and ultimately the ring. Which is where most of the comedy comes in. As I can hear Boris saying "Look Moose and Squirrel." followed by Natasha "Yes darling." As the the goons chase after Sunny all the while getting beat up as if they are Wily Coyote. It is painfully sugary and goofy. I enjoyed it some adults will not though.

The rest of the story though is Sunny becoming part of the new family and how the patriarch can not stand the dog. Just like Beethoven which this movie leans on heavily when it comes to the family dog scenes and comedic learnings. Which is fine I just wish this movie had more originality than it did. The end is extremely stupid and annoying. But the end credits are worth viewing once you make it there. Because the movie rips itself and that was worth the 90 minutes alone.

As for the acting it was decent to good. Often times you feel you are watching a Saturday afternoon serial with how hammy and cheesy the acting are. At the same time it will not make you turn it off as it is palatable and enjoyable for children. I can not emphasize that enough that this film is written for children and not adults. As such this movie has gotten horrible reviews. All because adults can not hide their adult blanket and pull out their children's blanket and enjoy what is a good family movie.

Even people have ragged on Chris Parnell of 30 Rock fame for being in this. Honestly leave the man alone. This movie is for his children and gives them something to enjoy that has daddy in it. Since most of his films are for adults or at the very least late teens. This is a good branching point for his kids to enjoy their father the actor. So all in all this is just a simple, fun and enjoyable movie. Nothing amazing or great and definitively a B-Film straight to dvd goofest. But it is enjoyable and like able.

If you have kids you can do far worse and if your a kid at heart. Give this film a shot and it might surprise you and take a spot in your heart as it did mine.

Rating 3/5