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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Movie Review # 153 Fast Lane (2009)

Release: 2009
Director: David Betances
Writer(s): David Betances, Sevier Crespo
Cast: Melina Lizette, Kenyetta Lethridge, Steven Bauer

Rotten Tomatoes: 14% Audience Fresh
IMDb: 3.3/10
Netflix: 2.8 Stars

Oh the car genre and all the purpetual knock offs of other movies. Some good, some bad then you have the awful. Which this movie falls into and not one you want to subject yourself to. As it is loosely based on "Gone in 60 Seconds" with a group of degenerates who are into boosting cars. That is about all these two movies share. As they could not be any more different.

As where "Gone in 60 Seconds" was about a brother saving his brother. While this one is a sexual adventure of dysfunction as a group of girls use what their mama gave them to steal cars. All while there is another evil man. Who is trying to put a stop to it and in the process is offing all of them as best as he can so he has no competition. All of which plays out in cut scenes, vignettes and long drawn out text lines. Like "Car crash on the 105....".

Which not only shows the lack of a budget it shows no budget. As each car is this movie is either rented, borrowed and or owned by one of the actors. So they can no wreck them and it is not the worst part of this movie. It would be the acting and the plot. Which both just suck the life out of you as the movie progresses. Especially all the scenes with Knight (Anthony Ray Parker). Who is best known as Dozer in "The Matrix". 

Sadly that might be his highlight of his career. Because he just plain sucks in this movie. But he is not the worst actor in all of this and picking on for this top spot is impossible to do. As the entire cast is a joke of bad actresses mostly who are better looking on screen than acting. Which will make men happy as they can see some nice Ford Mustangs and that is about it. Which for a car movie about boosting cars is down right a crisis point.

Now as bad as that is. This movie is just one that no one should be seen. It should not be rented, should not be owned and overall it should be used as a torture device towards car fans. As this movie will make even the most devout car heist fan feel as if they are being punished. Which is how I felt at the end of this movie. Thankfully I can just pop in "Fast and the Furious", "Gone in 60 Seconds" or just watch "Initial D". Either which way I win instead of lose like this horrible film.

My Rating: .5 out 5 Stars

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