Release: 2010
Directr(s): Ben Hayflick, Adam Silver
Writer(s): Ben Hayflick, Adam Silver
Cast: Patrick Muldoon, Sarah Desage, Bo Svenson
Ratings:
Rotten Tomatoes: 5% Audience Fresh
IMDb: 3.0/10
Netflix: 2.4 Stars
Review:
The Furlough is over and The Asylum and all its wonderful craptastic cinema production is back on the menu. So go figure the second movie that my randomizer pulls up. Is none other than The 7 Adventures of Sinbad. Which in all honesty has not a damn thing to do with Sinbad or the Persian tales. Despite what the box cover, description and art tell you. This is a straight forward farce of a film that deserves mention for ineptitude in every category.
So where to begin? How about a script that is devoid of care and personality. As the movie movies along from set piece to set piece. Never hashing out the story instead it is used as a way to off the members of the cast that have no real meaning. Be it the girl that Sinbad is in love with at the start. To the girl he ends up with at the end. It is just a mockery of writing. Let alone the original source material of Sinbad that had to go through seven trials to save the world.
Well that is one thing this one got right. It did have seven so called trials. But they are so cheesy and badly written you would think it was written by a teenage film student. Not a major motion picture company that makes five to six new films a year. The same can be said of the effects that are so atrociously bad that you would think that they where pulled of a Playstation One video game. Then overlayed into this movie just for fun and because they needed the effects for the movie.
None are more atrocious than the cyclops that is so awful that it is like watching a bad claymation cartoon. With live action film. Which I thought went out during the days of the Original Wrath of the Titans. But then again I am so very wrong. Then again I do not think I am and I am really becoming a complete bitch towards this one company. But how can I not. Especially knowing that I have so many more lovely films to see before the end of the year.
All of which will suck and all of which are scrapping the bottom of a pile of shit. That is not worth watching as it is just painfully smelly and hard to tolerate. But it is what they want. They want you to suffer and to believe what you are seeing is a good movie. It is why their trailers look amazing. It is why their box covers look the way they do. It is to pull you in and make you pay them money. Well folks if you are gullible enough to buy one of these movies. I have a short phrase for you. You are nothing but a sucker and I have no mercy on your souls.
My Rating: 0 out of 5 Stars
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