Thursday, August 25, 2011
Movie # 157 The Human Centipede (2009)
Director: Tom Six
Writer: Tom Six
Cast: Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie
Rotten Tomatoes: 50% Critics Fresh 28% Audience Fresh
Netflix: 2.4 Stars
I seriously can not understand how anyone can watch this movie. I have watched "Hostel" and "Saw". Believe me when I say this. They have nothing on this movie what so ever. It is simply the most perverse, disgusting and vile film ever made. Till well "Human Centipede 2" which has been banned in Great Britain. But I am getting ahead of myself. I just watched the first one and I wish I had not.
As this movie not only made me puke in my mouth eight times and dry heave countless others. It will sit with me ever and cause to have nightmares. Why any one person would ever want to see this is beyond me. But if I was given a choice this or say one of my most hated films. "Skeleton Key 2: Mark of the Beast 666" I would chose 'Skeleton Key 2" any day of the week as bad as it is. I can hold my lunch down.
Now if I want to look at a brighter side of this sick film. It can single handily help me lose weight as I will surely vomit up what ever I had prior to watching. Which I did I just held back and swallowed it down. I do not why maybe stupidity? Maybe because no movie has ever made me run to a trash can or a toilet. Either which way I am scarred for life because this was the number one film people wanted me to review.
So for all of you sick little fucks that thought that this movie should be seen. I hate you and I really really mean HATE! You are not friends you are sadistic little shits that want to torture those who you like. You have a mean streak and want me as the middle piece in your "Human Centipede" you want me eating your shit and then shitting it out for the back end. I so do not like being in the middle and as a reviewer I am. I am the middle fucking piece between sanity and all of those who might want to watch this horrible movie.
Which none of you do believe me. This is reserved for the sickest of sickest minds and even then I would doubt many would love it. But some how and some way this movie carries nearly a 50% rating on IMDb. Which I honestly believe is a lot of 1's and 10's being posted by people so it figures out as a 5 roughly. Now for all of you that liked this movie. Shame on you!
But before I go any farther I will give this movie a 3 out of 5. But I did not like it. I give it completely on story, acting and its art direction. I in no way condone this film. I can not say that enough. JUST NO! Now that my bitchfest is over. Lets get to the real review. "Human Centipede" is a psychological thriller about a mad doctor. Who hates humanity and wants to create instead of destroy as he has done over his career.
His career was the forth most leading doctor of Siamese Twins separation. Which you can tell he once loved but when he retired he wanted to be different. So he created a Siamese dog which was three rottweilers linked ass to mouth. Now the good old doc was not impressed enough with this invention. So he went out and decided lets do this with humans. So he first got himself a Dutch trucker. Then two hapless American tourists showed up on his doorstep.
Because they had blown a tire going to a club. But in the process got lost and ended up at the good old docs house. Now that they had arrived the poor old Dutch man did not fit into the equation and was killed. Because his fat ass did not match the two skinny pretty girls. So the doc offed the poor guy and said he was sorry. Only to go out and find another tourist this time a Japanese man who he thought was a better fit. From there we get the human centipede. Where ass meets mouth and shit enters throats!
As the lead part eats normal food. The middle gets the first passed shit and on down. It is totally disgusting and fucking hideous. But some reason the writer/director Tom Six had to show us this scene. He had to show us it in a long drawn out scene. Now I should be thankful it was only one scene and no more of them happened like this. But then he came later in the film about feeding him a laxative. So that next time he can not hold back.
Again it is just not right. Which is all this movie is. Is scene after scene of torture, pain and agony. There is nothing pleasurable about this film. Even the 'Saw" and "Hostel" movies as disgusting as they are have moments where they lighten the mood. This movie just pushes down the throttle of gross out horror and never lets up. Which is not only draining it is vomit inducing. Which you have read I had my issues with. If through all of this and you are still interested in seeing this movie.
All I can say is have at it. I will never ask someone to watch this. Nor will I ever sit through this again. I know that in some future review. I will end up watching the sequel to this and from what I hear. It cranked up the fucked up meter. Which not only scares me it makes think that it alone. Will be the first movie I stop watching and turn off. As well making me vomit. Now that might be something for me to look forward to. So "Human Centipede 2" I hope you bring your 'A Game" because your big brother didn't make me quit.
My Rating: 3 out 5 Stars